~My VoiCE tO ShARe~

为什么我的命运这么坎坷？
到底我犯了些什么错...？
打从我说将要离开的那一刻起,
一波又一波的烦恼都在不断的缠绕着我,
我真的觉得很难过...
心情很复杂...

打从两个月前开始，
这个家就一直有房位空着，
害得我们全家都得自己掏腰包，
平分补贴剩余的房租...
数目看来不大，
但对一个完全没有家私的房子来说，
恐怕租金真的是贵了一点...

很烦...
在这住不够一年，
说要两个月后搬家，
抵押金可能要被毁了...
老爸说，
试问是否能从抵押金扣除我两个月的房租，
结果得到的答案是不可能...

学姐说，
住不够一年，
房租是肯定拿不回了，
除非找到人取代我的位置，
那可能还有一线希望...

但老爸却说，
只要家里一天找不到人，
就不要把房租交出去...

天啊...!!!
那我该怎么办？
这里要听老爸的，
那里又要面对学姐，
到底要我怎么做才好啊...?

慢慢的泪水挤在心头，
有苦没人可以哭诉...
很辛苦...
真的很辛苦...

我已经无法再承受这种心灵上的压抑了...
为什么每次一提到钱，
问题一定会越搞越复杂呢？
要我怎么做才好呢...??

Already a few days I never talk to my housemates, the serious one, my room-mate.
I dunno what's happening between us. Just felt that we never talk much nowadays.
Everytime when she's back from the college, I try to greet n talk to her but she seems doesn't want to talk much. Then, I just keep quite all the time. The circumstance is also the same with my other housemates. Am I thinking too much as I'm a pessimism person? I hope it's not the same as what I thought.

I know I'm going to leave here but I hope everything will be going on as normal as usual. The way they whisperring and closing the door in their room makes me feel sad. This is not what I want to see since I'm going to leave here, some of them dunno about this yet. I hope everyone will be happy like before I moved in here.

Ya, I admit that sometimes I really overthought about something, but this is what really I'm doing all the time. Everyone should know this, especially my friends. Although I know maybe something is going to happen but I'll not bother bout it too much as I'm not a busybody.

Friends are freinds. Please tell me whatever you can. Don't leave me behind. It makes me feel very very scare...

Feel extremely stressful today after coming back from Communication Skill. Dunno why the feeling comes suddenly, and it makes me very suffer. I'm trying to relax myself but still never get better. What should I do? Introduction to Pharmacy, English Language Awareness, Communication Skill, Mirobiology, Anatomy, Biochemistry...
facing a lot of stress with assignments, quizzes & tests...the feeling I never had before... My heart feels like crying... How only I can survive from that?
I need someone to talk but everyone seems to be very busy with their own work.

Dad called just now. I was trying to express my feelings to him, but it doesn't works at all.
I miss my friends a lot, hope to talk & share my feelings with them.
I know the circumstance will be worst if I never release my stress away...
I know Uni life is like that. We'll meet many challengers & the only way we need to challenge them is work harder. I tried very very hard 'coz i need to pay for the tuition fees.
I should not waste my time here on playing games or doing nothing.

Everytime I tell myself to be tough. I can do it as well as the others.
Dad is also trying to look for a job for me since I'm going to stop my study here to go for the international online course. The closing date for the job application will be on 31st of Feb.
So, no matter how busy I am, I'll need to fix some time for preparing my resume.

Dunno what to say, just may God bless me as well...

今天，Andy打来跟我聊了一下，其实是我要找他谈有关买车票回家的事，原以为迟放学可以跟 Nick 的车回家，但Andy 坚持说不要，那我呢？也唯有跟 Andy 咯...因为我答应了他啊。结果聊着聊着...他突然问起 Ken 的事情，他要知道我为何还喜欢 Ken 的原因，我不答他，因为没有原因。Andy 始终不敢相信，事情过了那么久我依然没有放弃过 Ken。他问我为什么那么傻，明知到不可能为何还要把他放在心里...我不懂，我只知道我还是很爱他，不是浅浅的，而是深深的，一年比一年更深。朋友都说我中了他的毒，唯一的解药就是...除非他对我狠狠的说出刺我的话，也许这样会让我恨他，然后慢慢忘记他...

但我知道，无论用什么方法也是无法让我忘记他，因为他在我心中已经占了很重要的位置。我知道我很傻，但要忘记一个你真正爱的人并不是那么容易。你需要一分钟认识一个人，一小时了解他，一天之内你可能爱上他，但要忘记他也许是要一个月、一年、甚至...又或许是一辈子都不可能忘记的。爱一个人不一定要占有他，不可能有结果并不代表我不能恋着他...只要我还能够关心他、了解他，那我已经很满足了... 不要问我为什么，我不会给任何的理由...

爱情没有所谓的对与错，只要认为是值得的，就不必去理会别人怎么说，只要自己觉得开心就好！

If you are not studying in MSU, i'm sure that the first thing you would like to know is... who's the Prof. Jay, am I right? he he... She is a lecturer who is teaching me English Language Awareness in this semester.
I always heard the students criticizing her that how crazy she is...how high the target she wants...bla bla bla...

Until the first time i saw her in the lecture, which many of us were late because of some misunderstanding of the venue for lecture..."Who told you that the venue for our class is at annexe 74 A? Can anyone tell me that?" she shouted. Actually I really don't know who she is, just know that she is the person who are going to teach us English, which we have already missed a lot of class in this semester.

But, after I have attended her lectures for a few times...I found that she is not as bad as they said la... She is a really good lecturer, who wants to lead her students to get flying colours in exams. She is a just a bit strict, maybe for the others are not the same la(she is crazy)...Different people different mind... Anyway, just ignore about it la...

I have never study English for already a long time, I think it might be a problem to follow up in a few seconds la...but I won't easily give up because of that. Everyone would like to aim a good results in English, including me. I still can remember that I really hate English when I was young (primary school until junior 3 if I'm not mistaken), until I met a new English teacher, my favourite., everything started to change.

Do you know how I start to love studying English? First, the person I would like to thanks is my dad. He is the one who always force me to read English press. At first I really hate it because the subject made me feel sleepy all the time. However, it has already become one of my habits nowadays. Secondly, the person who influence me to study English...is he! My lover (only some of them will know it). he he...Don't laugh la...Everyone will have a secret admirer...but I don't think that it is a secret anymore...because it has already become a past tense...but he is still the one I love the most. Yesterday, now, tomorrow...and forever...

Just because of that, I like English so much nowadays. Like to speak in English, chatting in English...even writing my journals is also the same. he he...It really sounds good, isn't it?
Well...no matter how weak I am until now, I'll never give up at once. I'll always remind myself with what "he" said: Don't ever give up easily in what you did. Success is only one step away."~

I never had a blog before...until yesterday, i felt bored n suddenly my blossom friend, who i knew since primary school suggested me to create one so that i can spend my time there...Yup! not bad. It's the right time for me to do so because I'm wasting my time in computer games sometimes while I'm lazying...he he... Don't laugh at me on that! It's normal for everyone doing that...Don't you?

I think it can be a good chance for me to improve myself in English by writing blogs. My English is not as well as the others, always get As in their English but just like what my English teacher in my secondary school said- Kindergarten English...I'm not lying, it's true!

Well...besides improving my English, i would also like to share my joys & tears with whoever i know. Yup, i like to share, just anything that i can give to them. I like to see people smiling all the time even though I'm a "cry bun" as what my friends mentioned before. Once i failed, i will cry. That's already become my normal act in my life.

Just trying to express my feelings that are making stress on me...

I'm just hoping that my life will be different with having my own blog...